The holidays have begun but I am somehow filled with dread towards it.I think it's because I've grown used to everyone around me.I've been an only child for my whole life. This year and only this year, I've made bonds so strong like blood itself.
The saying goes "Blood is thicker than water". But can water merge into blood? In my case, yes. For the first time, I feel welcome and safe. Some friends have merged into brothers and sisters for me. Also, I joined my school's Christian Fellowship and they fill me with a sort of comfiness that I feel at home.
I now face the holidays. All my friends go off and so do I. Now I face a empty void in my heart that tries to rule me with misery and grief.Will I give in?
No. The mind must rule the heart. So, I keep myself busy.No daydreaming at all in case I let my guard down.It happened once. My gut clenched as the idea of loneliness hit me.I blasted back with happy memories rushing through my head. Lately, massive migraines are common but I let them be.They somehow serve as a reminder that blank thoughts will lead to crushing realization of being empty.
Strangely, I've never felt this way before. Is this related to the major shift in writing? Someone told me I'm in love but no, love is an easy excuse out of every damn thing in this world.There something bigger and darker behind it.
But something still haunts me. What if I'm just paranoid and it's truly love after all?
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